Church Family

For a while I have been contemplating my church. I love my church, I love the people in it and I love the pastor and his family. I am not facing a crisis of misguided doctrine or anything. A lot of people have left our church, some have moved on to other cities and some have left for other churches in our area and for the first time since I have been attending this church, the members are dwindling. When I started attending almost 10 years ago, the church was on a continuous upswing, growing and thriving. The only change to the church has been that they built a new building, the old building was always temporary and we had outgrown it. In this transition of space, and finally having our own church, some ministries were left to sour. The women’s Bible studies for example, but this was quickly noticed and is on a revival.

My mom has been attending churches most of her life, so these kinds of ebbs and flows don’t perturb her much. I however am bothered. I am wondering if I am on a sinking ship and need to join others that have left at another church, which has a similar doctrine but a growing, thriving church family. Something has been nagging at me to leave, but I have yet to discern if it is from my Heavenly Father or something sinister driving our church apart.

Having considered all this, I came to the realization. I have always called the church members, the “church family”, and when I pray for them I pray like they are my brothers and sisters. Does one leave their family just because it seems to be the vogue thing to do? Or do I continue to pray for my family, and commit to my family’s growth instead of leaving it to demise? My spirituality is nurtured there, I feel close to God and I have no issues with my pastor or how he uses the pulpit to teach. Sure I have grievances with some individuals, and with some minor details of the churches operating, but who doesn’t have issues with their own family and how other siblings maybe raise their kids? Or manage their money? And would I leave my family because I don’t agree with these things? Of course not! I will pray for them!

So for now, until I get clarity on the nagging in my spirit to leave, I will stay and continue to pray. I miss the other members immensely. You get used to seeing somebody on a weekly basis, get to know their kids, and when they chose to attend another a church it is difficult to not be hurt and take it personally. Instead of being involved in the demise of a church, I would rather be involved in its revival. It would be easy to leave and get on board with another church that is thriving and healthy, but I feel it would be more rewarding to help rebuild and recruit new members, hopefully new Christians, and nurture the church.

Everbody Belongs

I love my church. Well actually I have a love/hate relationship with my church. I love it there and sometimes I think about going elsewhere, but I always find myself feeling like it is the place I am meant to be. For example, I was considering leaving about two years ago when we were celebrating the opening of our brand new building. That Sunday as I stood (because I was carrying a restless toddler) in church they played a slideshow, and my picture happened to pop up, and I felt that in that moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Now I can’t explain a feeling, other than it was something I knew for sure, as fact.
As months pass and other members leave the church, for various reasons, I wonder if I need to leave too, explore other churches and maybe find one I like better. Although, I find myself unable to fathom leaving, and I hear repeated in my head (in my God voice) “grow where you are planted”. And so I have been planted there, there too I will grow.
I want my church family to become an extension of my immediate family, these are the people I will have the privilege of seeing in Heaven, I might as well get to know them and love them.
I understand that whomever (if ever, anyone) happens to read this may not understand what the heck I am babbling about, but I would strongly encourage that person to seek out a church, just to fully grasp the reality of belonging, to a group of people who should love you no matter what you have done, and who never judge you or persecute you; can anyone honestly say that they have experienced that kind of love from their own family? I certainly haven’t.

As a note on faith, I leave you with this story. This serves mostly as a reminder to me that “the grass is greener where you water it” (that is a Rick Warren tweet that I love).
This winter has been a terrible one for driving, we have had unprecedented snow fall, unforgiving cold, and then suddenly we will have a day of above freezing temperatures and rain. I was driving to church the Sunday before Christmas, and the roads were very icy, and the air crisp with cold. I was driving 30 kilometres under the speed limit with my hazards on to warn traffic that I was driving really, really slow. I was scared. Scared of ending up in the ditch, getting hit or worse. So I sang to calm my nerves, and the only song that came to mind was “Silent Night”. I sang it over and over and stopped intermittently to pray, “please Jesus let me make it there”. As I prayed I saw a rainbow, and it looked to have appeared over the church. Now I am aware that this is a phenomenon likely created by the ice crystals in the air being penetrated by the sun, and at the moment it happened I figured that’s all it was. However I did find it odd how it stayed in the sky over the church, and didn’t move much even as I drove closer. I continued to sing “Silent Night” until I pulled into the parking lot. I breathed a big sigh of relief and relaxed. As I stepped inside the church I heard a very familiar tune being played on the piano in the sanctuary by the choir leader, it was “Silent Night”, and it brought me to tears. I first doubted God when he showed me his Angel guiding me to church, then I was so brazen to think for a second that it was only coincidence that she had been playing the exact tune I was just singing to myself, over and over. No, Amanda. Some things aren’t just simply by coincidence. Has my Faith really gotten so weak that I would doubt my Father would do for me just what I asked? To get me to church safely? And did I dare doubt him when he showed me twice that day that he had in fact heard me?

This was a tough lesson.